Hi Friends,
So I have never just run to my laptop to get something out to the masses like I have today. I have to start by saying that I just got back from a really good interview with a guy with whom I could definitely work at a company that seems least likely what I would think I would end up at, working a territory that I have never covered. After saying that, one might think that was a bad meeting, but its all in perspective, dudes. I am actually really interested in the job. Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about here, but I had to get it out before I forgot it.
Today’s topic is “Presence” and “Presents”. I have something to say about this that I found not just “interesting” but also truly revealing. As this place is for me to share with you everything (except for the filtered by the family or career limiting stuff), I am compelled to share this with you.
So often, in this very blog, I have lamented about some particular person who had not been “Present” with me during a horrible ordeal (like my life these last 15 months). Maybe they didn’t call, maybe they said “no” to something I needed from them, maybe they just weren’t “there with us” during the ordeal. That being said, I think I have spent more time in gratitude to those who have been present with us, experienced “stuff” with us, and have held us up in prayer., I also try to take time to recognize (I hope), those who have gone out of their way to be “present” in my life, for a season or more, especially since I don’t write “thank you” notes or make those calls nearly enough. The best of the best know who they are and their queen is Wendy, but I digress.
As I thought about it more, I was surprised (and I promise I’m not trying to act all popular or anything) when I realized that I have been on the receiving end of all kinds of gifts from all kinds of people. These gifts are like “stuff” that I can see or use or perhaps a “shared experience” to remember. I am so totally lucky to have some really diverse and interesting “things” or “words saved” or “pictures” just even all around me at my desk or in my room or even as I go out into the world. And I realized that some of the people that I may have been disappointed with in the “presence” category of this long exhausting season of my life, many of them are actually the ones who are pretty high up on the “present” side of the list, if I were to keep a list or score. I have always gotten a lot of “presents” for birthdays, Hanukkah, Christmas, LanceDempsey’sBday, whatever. There are people who remembered me (on a particular day, whatever it is) with a card or a gift or a call, and some, in fact, have given me some tangible things that, when I see them, or use them, cause me to think about that person and pray for them, at that moment. I am going to say for the record, that there are a lot of people (again – why I am so lucky/blessed, I don’t know and I just thank God) that have provided “presence” AND “presents” in my life. For example, today I wore 4 pieces of jewelry from 4 different people who all are on the “both” sides of this non-existent list.
Because God has so enormously blessed me, with “presence” and “presents”, I feel that I must pray for whomever is “with” me at any particular moment. So, it is not an exaggeration that I spend a good amount of time every day, praying for certain individuals sometimes more than once along with my regular prayers in my personal relationship with Yeshua. Chances are really good that if you are reading this right now, I have prayed or I am praying for you. But also, there are a whole bunch of people that, I could be praying for at any moment just because of some “thing” or “memory” that I see.
For example: Today, I put on this perfume that I love that I have no idea what its called, but I know it came from Anthropologie, one of my favorite stores and my friend, LaurieP, gave it to me for some special day, although I’m pretty sure it was my bday 2007. And I know her Birthday is imminent and she is in
Rome, so obviously I won’t have a “present” out to her on time, because I haven’t even picked it out yet.
So I stopped and prayed for Laurie.
Without even thinking about it.
Besides, I pray for her all the time anyway.
But it was the perfume spray that made me
have to run downstairs and share this with you all.
While it may be my personal opinion that being “present” in my life is more important to me than someone who has just given me “presents” over time, they are still both pretty cool. And it also demonstrates that I pray a lot for a lot of people every day, which is not to brag, but just to say that this is how I have come to understand real GRATITUDE.
[SIDEBAR: Now do NOT go reading into this and psychoanalyze or personalize that you are someone who let me down in some way. DON’T. That is ridiculous, unproductive and would undo all that I am trying to say here.]
Another example: There is this guy that I know. I actually would barely know him if he hadn’t been the best friend I ever had that I never met until I actually met him. Then I met him, and it’s not like we hung out together or even worked at the same company at the same time or anything. We have just always been “present” in each other’s lives, mostly during March Madness over the phone or by email. But we are definitely “real” with each other and have shared some tragic times. HOWEVER – during our worst time of need, this guy was actually “present”, in person, at the ICU with us, during the ordeal. Not only that – but this dude would bring “presents” like the “Live Wire” soda he went to three different states to procure, and the Harley Davidson shirts that Brendan actually has in his rotation of shirts that he wears. So, while I talk to this guy probably more than I talk to most people, I also have reminders of him all around me pretty much most of the time. And you know what? This guy gets prayed for A LOT. Now, I don’t mean to act like me praying for you is all that important. However, I always feel good when I know that someone is praying for me.
Bottom line – there is “presence” and there are “presents”. GRATITUDE is about noticing each, and being grateful to even get one. I don’t want to get all goofy and Frank Capra-like, but this ordeal has brought me and my family so many GIFTS, that I can’t believe that I ever complain.
I’m so blessed to have had all kinds of people in my life who have left their mark, as it were, on my life and thus get prayed for. Some of these people A LOT. Some of these people would find the thought that I prayed for them every day is “quaint” or “ridiculous” or something patronizing or mocking. But I do anyway. I cannot believe how many nice people have either spent a season or more being present in my life, nor can I believe the number of funny and cool and useful or completely not useful stuff (like a real sword from Jim Dallas – which is his real name – not a porn name like it sounds) that has been gifted to me by some really fine, quality, cool and dependable people, so I have had the privilege of enjoying the presence of these quality people in my life, but also being the recipient of number “presents” from these people. Getting a “present”, let’s call it a “gift” for someone is the result of a relationship with that particular ”Giver” that has created an obligation or commitment or affection or covenant or whatever reason to actually recognize certain days with some specific people.
I love to give gifts. Obviously, my gift giving is limited during this season, but I refuse to give up on “gifting” those I care about. I love to think about a person for a while and try to figure out what would be a cool gift. As I shop for, or – surprise surprise, or perhaps “make” a gift for someone, you can rest assured that I am praying about them and for them while I work towards providing these friends or family or whatever they are. I don’t like to give gifts out of obligation, but I will. I love to give gifts totally random, but those days have been far and few between this last year. But, whether they “bought” me a gift or gave me a thing or spent time with me on whatever, they are forever in the database. And, if I should happen to pick up one of these gifts and have a shared memory that blesses for a moment, I pray for these people on the spot. And you know what? Figuring all that out has taught me a couple of truths that have soothed a burning spot in my heart.
Today, my gift to you is this: GRATITUDE. Thanks. Thanks for reading, writing, praying, giving, and sharing. Know that I love every single one of you. That is true.
God is kind of telling me that this is it and I should post without edits, so I don’t even know how it will come out, and maybe it will change – Lord knows I need an editor! (Brendan did listen to me read it out loud so he kind of edited it) But take this gift of GRATITUDE from me, and pass it on to someone else, in the name of Yeshua, the Messiah, our Father G-d, and the Holy Spirit that gave me the courage to write all this down and put it out to the masses. HAHAHA – Masses. Like I’m a Catholic….see I have to ruin everything.
But Yeshua makes everything all better. In His Name, I say THANK YOU.
Nick and Brendan’s Mom.
E,
“Presents” and “Presence”. I like it. It is definitely a revelation. I’ve learned through some of the more challenging times in my life, and the lives of my good friends and those that I love… that sometimes it is difficult for us to be there for others in a truly “present” way.. for whatever reason, we may just be incapable at the time. And sometimes, giving the gift — the other “present” — allows us to demonstrate our caring, when we’re just not physically, or emotionally able to really “be there” for someone. In either case — we are indeed blessed. For all those in our lives who show us, in ways big and small, intimate and “present”, or inanimate and “present” that they truly care for us, and about us.
I know how very grateful I am for those people in MY life, and know I am grateful you’re in mine and I’m in yours.
Bless you, Babe!
T